But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
