he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
