Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
