OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
