Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You are a genius and a whore.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
