Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
