So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
