Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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