Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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