There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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