Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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