eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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