Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
