He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
