so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
