I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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