just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
