South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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