But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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