i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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