There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
