Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
