I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
