I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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