I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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