**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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