3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
