I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
