I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We are all done wearing pants today
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
