Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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