So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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