hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
