I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
