I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize