oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize