Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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