I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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