bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
