I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
