Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
