watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
