Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
