You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
