I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
