this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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