Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
