My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
