C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
