mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
