There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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