Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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