the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
