How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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