is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
