The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
