Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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