My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize