The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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