I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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