i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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