I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
