Pants 0. Shit 1.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
