im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Duck Duck Cougar?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Randomize
