Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
