Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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