Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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